Month: January 2018

 

A while back I was sitting naked in a small sauna with 12 other hippies —as you do , ya know, in Portlandia— when the subject of drinking one’s own urine came up—as it does, ya know…nowhere else in the world…

Luckily, this wasn’t my first Bohemian rodeo, so I knew better than to ask if they were serious.  Not only were they serious, they were adamant.

Apparently – according to the Homeopath and the Natureopath- drinking one’s pee first thing in the morning provides anti-bodies which fight off illness and disease and miraculously cure all manner of ailments, from MS to psoriasis.  But, no matter how much my friends extolled the virtues of drinking my morning pee, I simply couldn’t wrap my mind around trading in my vanilla latte for a self-inflicted golden shower.

In fairness,  I did ask myself: If I had a terminal disease and I was told the only way to cure it is to drink my urine, would I consider it? Maybe. But anything less dire, the answer is a resounding “Are you f*cking kidding me?”

So, my next question is: if we were truly designed to drink our urine, WHY IS IT FLOWING OUT OF OUR BODY? My understanding is that it’s because my body is ridding itself of the things that it doesn’t want. #biologicallogic

But I think the real question is this: How do you discern between a weird ‘wu wu’ fad, and something that has actual healing value for your body (or psyche)? We’ve all lived through a myriad of ‘superfoods’ starting innocently enough with blueberries and kale, and descending into the madness that is wheatgrass, goji berries, acai, chia, flax, quinoa, turmeric…need I go on?

Am I saying that none of these have healing properties? Of course not!  I am personally guilty of sampling all manner of wacky Ayurvedic and shamanic medicines and healing modalities. Some have worked, others left me feeling coo coo for cocoa puffs— at the end of the day, it’s all about personal experience and discernment.

But what I am trying to say is that maybe we— as in, those of us who are proponents of alternative healing modalities— need to ground some of these fads so that the holistic movement doesn’t seem so flaky.

Yes! to the basics: eating healthy, less processed, more veggie-based food.  No! to  placenta tartare, coffee enemas and, definitely, drinking urine.

I mean, even if drinking your pee does have value, it’s so far ahead of the curve that I believe  pushing for it actually does the movement towards holistic healing a disservice.

I also believe that if we can raise the bar towards basic healthy mindsets, the rest will follow…in time.

And in the meantime, we – meaning all of humanity – need to learn to walk before we can fly….or poop before we can pee…or, um, what am I trying to say? Hell, I dunno…just drink your 8 glasses of water per day, dammitt!

I was in Thailand as the 7^th wheel on a romantic trip –tagging along on the honeymoon of two close friends, and two other couples.

Prior to the honeymoon, during the first few days in Bangkok, I could ignore my singleness and blend with the few other non-partnered guests.  But after the wedding ceremony, the other singles peeled off and the rest of us flew to an exotic resort on a remote Thai beach. Here, amongst the crystalline water, the white sandy beaches and the sexy sunsets, it became impossible to deny that I was on a romantic getaway with me, myself and I.

In the past, I would’ve been sad and lamenting my predicament. I would’ve gone into some kind of ‘why not me?’ story in which I was victimized by my tortured romantic history and feeling punished by the universe.

But not this time. This time, I came to a realization: I actually really enjoyed being alone. It was easy. Not to mention familiar, comfortable and safe.   I’ve come to identify as the independent single girl. In fact, I realized that I’d been wearing that identity like a badge of honor.

The dialogue in my head runs something like ‘I’ll show the world that you don’t need to be partnered in order to be happy and fulfilled—screw convention! I will not conform to being a dutiful lover/partner/girlfriend because society tells me I should’.

I recognize that, to some degree, this inner dialogue comes from my ego.  But I also believe it’s important to model independence for other women; a healthy self love and self reliance that comes from the attitude of ‘I’m open to love and partnership, but since it hasn’t showed up for me yet in a form that feels right, I will still relish every second of my life, continue to deepen in self-love and live every day to the fullest… until that person does show up for me”.

The moment I arrived at that resort, the Goddess (I’m pretty sure it was Yemanja) whispered in my ear: ‘It’s time for a Baptism. You are ready to fully blossom into your divine feminine. You are ready to receive love and open your heart. Come to the beach. Alone. And we will do this’.

So I walked down the secluded strand until the emotion overtook me, and I couldn’t walk any further. In that moment, I felt fully into all of the safety, ease and security that I was giving up by opening my heart to someone. But I also understood that it was time to put aside my old, outdated identity and to step into something terrifying, yet potentially expansive. It was time to lay down my armor and allow the mirror to show up in the form of a looming partnership awaiting me back at home.

So, I turned towards the horizon and walked in until the water enveloped me completely, feeling the ocean’s unlimited expansiveness as the perfect metaphor for the state of being I’m ready to step into.  I was talking to the Goddess the entire way.  I told her that I understood what was needed, but I was scared. She comforted me and encouraged me to feel into all the fear and doubt. To validate those feelings, but to challenge the thoughts that might’ve built up those fears in the first place.  The failed love affairs of my past no longer need define me and keep me isolated on an island of emotional safety.

And now, as I fly home, I’m feeling into the full magnitude of my commitment to this new state of being.  I must learn to honor myself and my needs within the confines of a partnership…and to shed any remaining bits of the identity that keeps me locked safely on that self-contained emotional island called ‘single girl’…

I am still scared, but also hopeful. And I trust that the Goddess has my back all the way.